Prince Harry recently opened up about receiving therapy over his lack of emotion surrounding his mother’s death 20 years ago. As odd as that opening line sounds, I did exactly what he did, whilst I thought about my parents, I definitely ignored the fact that they were gone, whenever I found myself edging toward a thought about their death I would shut it down and refuse to let it surface. It’s coming up to 10 years since they passed and with that many emotions have started to resurface that I had suppressed. Mood swings occur for no reason, I shut down other emotions and stop myself from becoming too close to people and mostly I feel sad… A LOT. It is due to this that I chose to use my FMP at university as a cathartic process, I forced myself to face these issues, and if I can’t talk then I will type and press my shutter.
I was initially seeking a ‘cure’ for my sadness, but I have come to realise, all be it a bit late, that the sadness will never disappear, that it is that feeling that moulds my growth as a person and proves just how lucky I am to have had 2 people in my life that I could feel so profoundly sad about losing. They may not be here now but the impact they had on me whilst they were living has meant that there is a huge hole in my life, I had people that I shared so much love with that they changed my life, and as odd as it sounds, I am immensely lucky to have had that in my life.
Some people can go their whole lives without ever experiencing tragedy, now whilst I wouldn’t wish it upon them, it has definitely changed my perception of life. Petty issues just aren’t worth the arguments and the value of positive thoughts and laughter is vastly underrated.
Whilst death is tragic, if you can find meaning in it for yourself, then you can cope.